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Newton

This is not about fig newtons. Sorry to burst anyone's bubble.

Newton has a law about motion. Two laws actually. An object in motion will continue in motion until acted upon.  An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted upon.

I am that object. Once I come home and I stop moving, I'll be damned if I start moving again. I want to collapse most days after work. Me + sweat pants = night on the couch. I don't accomplish anything typically. Be that make dinner, clean apartment or school work. I have no motivation. I don't know if it is that I have no strength, it is that I have no motivation.

Tonight was a bit different. When I got home, Tyler and I went and did laundry. We made dinner together afterwards. It was an evening of motion, yet was relaxing at the same time. Even though I have not done my school work that I brought home, nor do I have the intention of doing this school work, I still feel as though I have been productive. I do feel that when I hit my bed tonight, I will hit it hard.

Early on this school year, I was playing with our dog, Basil, in the dining room. I was sitting on the floor throwing her ball for her. I fell asleep on the dining room floor out of sheer exhaustion. I was that child who would simply run around until she fell (literally fell) asleep. It is as if I have a switch, it is either on or off. I need to figure out how to install a dimmer. I feel as though life would seem less dramatic and/or manageable if I had other speeds instead of simply on or off.

I am left wondering, which law of motion do I continue in life? Do I go with the law that seems hard-wired in me? That I need to remain in motion constantly until it is an appropriate time to crash? Or do I attempt to figure out how to program a dimmer switch into me, that I can balance rest and motion? I don't know if I can balance the two, does that life skill come with time/age? Or do I need to let go of the hope that I can acquire that skill and go with my nature?

I will now proceed into crashing mode. Good night y'all.

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